Wanting To Say A Lot And Knowing That It Is Better To Say Nothing

With the exception of love, we have never talked so much about a subject as about words, because words and silence always seek a balance.

A Chinese proverb says:  “If what you have to say is not more beautiful than silence, then shut up” .

We have all lived that precise moment when we feel that a conversation must end when, however, we continue, and everything ends badly.

We want to say too much without thinking about the consequences,  without realizing that sometimes it is better to keep quiet.

If before speaking we realized that when we speak and make judgments and opinions, we are revealing our core, and judging ourselves, we probably wouldn’t let our tongue go faster than our thinking.

Say too much

Between friends, between family members and people we love, it often happens that we do not pay attention to the way we speak and that we express everything we think.

This is why, even if it sounds trite, Corneille said that “too much confidence attracts danger”. And that’s true.

The words we speak to those closest to us are sometimes sharper than any knife, they create walls that are very difficult to knock down, and they hurt the people we truly love and esteem.

Even though sometimes the will to speak is stronger than us, it is important to weigh the words, ask ourselves what we want to say to the other person, weigh the consequences of our opinions and always demonstrate. courtesy and friendliness.

The art of speaking with wisdom and respect

It is not a question of being permanently silent and hiding what we are thinking, because we cannot forget that what we are not talking about in a concrete way does not exist.

The words of encouragement, those which flow from our heart to reach that of the other are the ones that are of great importance.

Speaking when necessary, knowing how to listen, not speaking in order to speak, because speaking too much without thinking about what we are saying and without control can lead us to say silly things or words that can hurt the other.

The importance of honesty

Scientists at Harvard University conducted a study of brain activity during a series of tests in which the honesty of a group of people was analyzed.

They discovered that honesty depends more on the absence of temptations than on active resistance to them.

In neural terms, the result obtained means that the brain activity of people who are honest does not vary in the face of temptation (to make money through traps), while the brain activity of dishonest people changes in the face of temptation (to make money through traps). to temptation, even if they do not give in to it.

The study was published in the journal  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences  and was led by Joshua Greene, a professor of psychology in the Faculty of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University.

Greene explains that, according to these results,  being honest does not depend on an effort of the will,  but rather on whether or not one is predisposed to be spontaneously honest.

According to the researcher, this may not be true in all situations, but it is in the situation being studied.

The reasons why we lie or tell the truth

On the other hand, researchers from the Autonomous University of Madrid and the University of Quebec, in Montreal, carried out an experiment to find out the reasons why people lie or tell the truth in a given situation.

Until now, it was believed that we always told the truth if it suited us materially and that we were lying otherwise.

But after reading the research results, we could see that people are telling the truth, even though it comes at a material cost. The question then is: why?

In this sense, different hypotheses are put forward. Because on the one hand, we understand that people are sincere because they have integrated it and that the opposite provokes negative emotions in them, such as guilt or shame, which we know as pure aversion to lying.

This aversion is properly linked to the aversion to creating a dissonance between a person’s image of himself and his way of actually behaving.

Other reasons to be sincere are related to altruism,  to conformity with what we think the other expects us to say, that is, the desire not to disappoint the expectations of the other person.