People Don’t Change, They Just Never Looked The Way You Imagined Them
You don’t quite know why, but still it is that one fine day, in all simplicity, you end up opening your eyes.
You can spend 5 months or 5 years with someone, and suddenly you realize who they really are. In all its cruelty.
As a result, many of your dreams are shattered, and most of your illusions and other hopes go up in smoke.
For a long time, you veiled your face with fascination and blind love for one another, and you wore a mask that prevented you from seeing reality in the face.
You can never know someone in their entirety. For that, it takes time, complicity, and key moments that open our eyes. But, until then, we often tend to idealize the other, or to attribute extraordinary dimensions to him… except that little by little, the veil ends up falling.
Obviously, we can indeed change; circumstances and lived experiences change us. Nevertheless, this irreducible essence, this personality, this integrity and these values that characterize us always remain intact.
We are all able to realize this in time, to know how to decipher the actions, read between the lines and deduce the consequences of his actions.
Sometimes love covers our face and therefore prevents us from being objective. However, we must still keep our hearts open and our feet on the ground, attaching ourselves to the roots of our balance and our self-protection.
People don’t change; they wear masks
At the beginning, we do everything to please others and to be compatible with them.
However, most of these couples are built on a lie, because one of the two members wears a mask, conceals his own personal shortcomings, or shows abilities that are not his at the base. The other member sees his companion as an almost idyllic “whole” and does not see the masks he / she is wearing.
Sooner or later the first disappointment will appear. We do not know when, we do not understand how the other person could have been able to do or say such and such a thing, but always it is that it happened, and that there is nothing we can do about it .
Little by little, these revealing situations where the other is put to the test will become more and more frequent. It is in these moments that he shows himself in his true light, and that he reveals his true essence and his true personality.
So what happened? How can he / she be so different all of a sudden? Why does he / she no longer look like the person we knew at the beginning?
Either way, we have to accept it. In fact, it didn’t change overnight… it just never looked the way we initially imagined it to be.
And often, this discovery is very sad.
Our refusal to see the other as he really is
How do you accept that the person you love is not what you initially thought? Believe it or not, this type of situation is very common, and does not occur only in the couple. It can also happen among friends, or even within the family.
People don’t change overnight, nor do they change over time. In fact, it is time itself that allows us to see reality in the face at any given moment.
There is no magic formula that can allow us to see the other as he really is.
Often, he himself does not know himself well enough to know it. You have to share moments with the other, and live experiences by their side so that it is life itself that illuminates its shadow areas and its inner beauties.
Although it is not easy, there are a whole host of aspects you should take into account if you find yourself in this situation:
Avoid veiling your face
While it is true that many people wear their various masks of seduction throughout their lives, it is not worth doing the same and covering their faces.
Avoid idealizing others. Draw conclusions from their words, their actions, their gestures and also their silences.
We do not know a person by the traits of his personality that he wants to show, but by the small details that we notice ourselves.
Don’t wait for people to change for you
This is a mistake that a lot of people make. Sometimes it can happen that we know in advance what a person is like; we know its faults, we know that it can hurt us… However, we say to ourselves that “with us it will be different and that it will change”.
However, this does not happen. Rare are the times when people manage to change their way of being, their habits, their needs, and their nuances.
We nurture a useless hope that weakens our self-esteem. This kind of behavior can be dangerous.
The problem with sincere people is that they think other people are too, and it’s way too hard for them to see what other people are really hiding behind their different masks.
