Innuendo And Implied Chords Can Be A Really Bad Idea

Half-communicating is not a good idea. Unfortunately, there is  a whole host of social and cultural mechanisms that cause us to leave messages in the air, such as innuendos or implicit agreements. The word and the way in which it is used are objects of regulation on the part of society. Sometimes due to good manners, and other times due to everyday use.

It also happens that people do not know what to communicate or how to communicate it,  simply because they do not have clear thoughts. These are cases where internal communication fails and this results in difficulty getting along with others.

“Speak clearly; prune every word before you drop it. ”

– Oliver Wendell Holmes –

Power relations similarly influence these unlucky equations. It is assumed that there are people you can say things to, and others you cannot. Almost all the powers of the world claim the right to demand silence. And silence falls. Sometimes on everything, sometimes on communication. This only gives rise to ambiguity and confusion, so it is not a good idea.

Innuendo, a bad idea

We call implicit those acts of communication which are not direct but through which one of the parties (or both) assumes that there is sufficient clarity  and that further explanations are not necessary. Like when you are told: “There is a knock on the door”. Obviously you have heard it and you know it. The message between the lines is “will open” but this, in principle, follows from the previous message.

Even in everyday situations, innuendos can turn into misunderstandings. Continuing with the previous example, “knocking on the door” can also be understood in another way, depending on the context and the situation.

Maybe it means “it’s time to stop talking about this topic because someone is coming”. Or “the person we were waiting for has arrived”. It might even take the meaning of “beware, no one should knock on the door and yet this is happening. There is a danger ”.

The people participating in the conversation need to be in tune to accurately interpret what the other means  when he throws those vague sentences that he believes are immediately understood. It might be anecdotal thing if this form of communication were not used in more complex situations. This is hardly ever a good idea.

In fact, it is a bad idea when we enter the world of demands and desires. This often happens. You want the other to do something for you, but you don’t say it. You take it for granted that they know it. “How could he not realize what I need, or what I want?” You think. The point is, other people are not always able to comprehend and comprehend your circumstances in order to guess your thoughts. This is when the conflict arises …

Implicit agreements, another bad idea

An agreement is in essence a pact that is discussed between two or more people. Of course, there are also self-pacts, but here we will focus on social agreements. In an agreement, each party undertakes to act in a specific way. It is the fruit of the recognition of all those concerned; good behavior is desirable to achieve a common goal.

However,  there are people who make the mistake of taking an agreement for granted without consulting the other party (s) directly; therefore, this or the latter did not confirm anything. For example, they assume that if they are doing something, others should act the same. “If I never forget the date of your birthday, neither should you forget mine” or “since I think of you before I think of me, you must do the same”.

Two or more human beings can reach any agreement. The problem arises when one of the people involved takes for granted a pact that never directly materialized. As in the examples, there is a large correspondence effect, but also other sometimes more complex dimensions. “Since I have suffered so much in my life, you must not create problems for me” or “since I feel superior to you, you cannot criticize me”. None of these pacts is a good idea.

On the other hand, it is good to promote direct and clear communication. Somehow, this communication always fails to some degree; however, the risk of falling into this error increases when implicit or latent messages predominate. This is why making our messages explicit is a wonderful idea to avoid conflicts.