Giving Love To Strangers Helps Overcome Depression

Strange as it may sound, sometimes trying to help others with their problems is a great way to resolve our own difficulties. Depression, social anxiety, and many other symptoms or disorders can go away when we stop focusing on ourselves and break down the barrier that separates us from others.

It’s also curious, but  very often it is easier to help strangers than people around us. If we are depressed or consumed with anxiety, it is very likely that the environment in which we live has something to do with it.

“To love is not only to love well, it is above all to understand. “

-Françoise Sagan-

On the other hand, with foreigners, there is great freedom. They don’t know us and we don’t know them. There are no huge expectations, no preconceived image, no connection that would have gone through a million trials. There is no past in common which conditions or present which binds. As incredible as it may sound,  from a certain point of view, we have a greater possibility of expressing ourselves authentically with strangers.

Hannah Brencher and her history with foreigners

Hannah Brencher completed her studies and after graduation moved to New York. She wanted a change in her life as she felt completely overcome with feelings of depression and anxiety. Her sadness didn’t seem to find any consolation, until one day she started doing something unusual: writing love letters to strangers. She did it anonymously.

Hannah began all letters with this sentence: “If you find this letter, it is for you”. And in the body of the message, she wrote messages like this: “You and I don’t know each other. We probably never sit down at a table and we will never laugh over coffee. We might not dance in the same circles and yawn together at midnight. But that doesn’t matter to me. This is so small and insignificant in comparison to the things I would like you to know: you are fantastic. You are worth it. Your hands are made to create beautiful things. “

The woman left these letters for strangers in restaurants, parks, buses and even at UN headquarters. To write them down, she just thought of all the love she herself needed. To all those phrases she wanted to hear. It was as if she fell in love with these strangers and then declared her love in letters.

After this period of writing letters, Hannah found that she had ceased to focus on herself and that her pain and loneliness had dissipated. She’s not the only person in the world to have regained her zest for life by helping strangers, who end up being a fundamental part of life.

Depression and helping strangers

Why is helping strangers a form of helping yourself if you have depression or anxiety? The answer is not simple, but it is deeply linked to the fact that a person who is deeply affected on an emotional level tends to isolate himself. And, by isolating himself, all of his symptoms and problems develop.

There is also a link with the image of incapacity and vulnerability that emerges when dealing with emotional problems. In these states, people think that they are useless, that they are unable to do anything good, and that they do not deserve much. We also find this in people who suffer from emotional deficiencies, which can not be filled by something, or by someone. This turns into a vicious cycle:  sadness leads to isolation and isolation to sadness. When the circle breaks, everything starts to be seen differently.

One of the beliefs of every person with neurosis is this: “what happens to me does not happen to anyone else”. This is the big lie of those who suffer from emotional problems. They cannot see that every human being carries a weight and that we all have to go through great suffering at some point in life.

By helping strangers, this false belief begins to change. You put yourself in a position of understanding in front of others which, in the end, also helps you understand what is happening to you.

In a study conducted in the United Kingdom, it was found that people who perform altruistic tasks or act in a polite manner with strangers, at least twice a week, are successful in overcoming their depression and anxieties. social in a surprising way. It is also something that allows you to have a better opinion of yourself and fosters a sense of personal pride. Why not try to help ourselves by helping others? This is a wonderful proof of love for life.

Images Free People, Luke Stephansshen, Hannah Brencher.