Emotional Dependence Exists Beyond The Couple

The emotional dependence we are talking about has a connection with the couple. It is a complex psychological state that the person is in and prevents them from breaking a relationship that is hurting them. Even though she is aware that there is a problem, she is unable to tear any connection with the person in question. She understands that the harm this relationship does to her is less than anything it does to her.

It is an unstable relationship, where the self-esteem of the dependent person is seriously affected. We idealize the spouse, we are afraid of loneliness and if the relationship breaks, there will be an abstinence syndrome. Thus, we forge an unbalanced and destructive bond. A real addiction. Emotional dependence does not only exist in a couple, but also in other types of relationships.

“Depending on the person you love is a way of burying yourself in life, an act of psychological self-humiliation, where self-esteem, respect and the essence of oneself are offered and given in a way. irrational. ”

-Walter Riso-

Emotional dependence in the family

Emotional dependence in the family nucleus is present when one member shows excessive attachment to another. His behavior will be obsessive, exhausting and perceived as “strange” by the person who “experiences” this addiction.

Here is an example of this type of addiction: it can come from one of the parents who needs to be in control and know all the details of their child’s daily life. The parent calls their child and needs to talk to them all the time. A characteristic trait is to always imagine the worst. This is why he systematically needs to check if everything is going well.

What happens when the child wants to gain independence? The parent will then put victimization, crying and certain manipulative techniques into practice so as not to lose what has become the meaning of his life. If none of this works, the calls will increase and the exhaustion will be so intense that the relationship will deteriorate.

Another example: a child systematically needs the advice of his parents to feel safe. Thus, he is not able to do anything or make a decision without their approval. A dependent child will give up plans or opportunities because of the fear of moving away from his parents.

Emotional dependence in the family can be the cause of an imbalanced emotional bond or emotional deficiencies.

If its forms of attachment exist in all relationships, it is necessary to ensure that they do not last too long. Normalizing them is not positive because, as we said, in this kind of unbalanced and harmful relationships there are always serious consequences. On the other hand, many of these relationships are maintained because there is mutual dependence: the parents have educated their child, the meaning of their life, so that he feels safe and dependent.

Emotional dependence in the social environment

The person who is in this group is characterized by a great need to be recognized by others, in order to be able to feel accepted. Maybe that’s why she spends a lot of time worrying about other people’s problems, and forgets her own. Proof that she seeks her self-esteem in outside sources.

This is what gives meaning to his life. She needs a connection with others, to serve something, to sacrifice herself so that others are happy. The person is happy only if others are. Because, as we know, dependent people leave their happiness in the hands of others.

The person emotionally dependent on social surroundings is always preoccupied with pleasing others, which prevents him from enjoying a healthy assertiveness. All of this causes her to lose a lot of energy, physically and emotionally draining her, as she builds relationships where disappointment is the main character.

The emotionally dependent person feels a desire for exclusivity with those who matter to them.

Dependent people can experience this dependence in the couple, the family and those around them, all at the same time: they often do not know other ways to bond with those they love. They do this because they believe it means that the other person matters to them. But what is going on in them? An emotionally dependent person always looks for those who are the most authoritarian, the most narcissistic, who exploit … Those who are the most assertive and who show great security at first, but who ultimately turn out to be false.

Emotional addiction can turn into a way of life full of hardship, sadness and unhappiness. This is why it is important to detect it and find a solution in time. There are many reasons a person develops an emotional addiction, and they often even confuse it with true love.

Let’s pay attention to it. Idealizing and placing others in priority over ourselves will distance us from a love that we neglect and which is nevertheless key to slowing down any process of dependence: self-love.

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Images by Rachel Bara