Do You Know The Two Faces Of Jealousy?
Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, often associated with greed. The historical accounts of courtesan life in the Middle Ages were filled with assassinations motivated by the jealousy that some carried to the position of power occupied by other people. Without going so far back in time, jealousy is one of the feelings that generally reigns in these meals during which we see people that we had not seen for a long time and where we tell adventures that we water down.
There are two reasons that could justify the fact that jealousy has survived as one of the most powerful motivations and that it has not fallen into the wilderness that natural selection imposes on that which harms or compromises the future of a person. species. And in this case, ours.
The first reason is linked to the usefulness rather than the jealousy of scoring objectives or goals. Jealousy acts like a neon highlighter on reality and brings out what you want, even, although rarely, what you need. Thus, being jealous of a person who has a very specific job can signal our vocation to us, because what we know about this job through the person who occupies it pleases us.
Jealousy not only signals a desire for objects, but also for abilities, attitudes and ways of behaving. There are people who have this gift of feeling at ease in all environments, there are others who have the gift of illuminating by their presence, still others who have the gift of soothing us. , those who have the gift of listening, etc.
On the other hand, along with the fear of loss, jealousy signals that we need the attention of those around us. We need it from a young age, so jealousy is one of the most complicated feelings to deal with when a new family member arrives.
We come here to the second positive reason for jealousy to exist. This reason has to do with motivation. You may think that this is not a noble motivation as selfish interest rarely spreads, but it is a motivation nonetheless. As we said before, one can see how a kind person behaves and envy the effects that he manages to achieve with his attitude. Thus, contrasting the effects of this way of behaving with reality can make one put our hands in the dough to improve the lives of others.
Of course, the attitude in question is not necessarily positive ; imagine, for example, that you have a job, and that you tell yourself that you are working too much for the little that is paid. You then begin to realize that most of your coworkers leave earlier than you, and that is of no consequence. So you will eventually decide to do as they do and go home sooner.
So often jealousy does not arise from an element in itself, but from the effects that element has on reality. There are people who envy others because they have a very modern and showy car. In reality, most people don’t envy this car, what they envy is the status where this car places its owner. People are jealous of these people because they have an object that tells the world that they have money and influence.
In fact, there are studies which say that many people would not buy a phone of a certain brand if they were forced to put it in a case that would hide the manufacturer’s identification. It is complicated to recognize that, like jealousy, association with brands speaks of people as emotional beings, when the majority of people aspire to be rational beings.
In fact, most of the justifications that we give to our behavior are far from being their primary motivation. Before buying a phone, we do not check whether the battery lasts long enough, and it may even be that in the specifications it says that there is very little memory. However, if after buying it we realize that it has an acceptable battery life and we are asked what it is, we will easily mention this reason, among others, for buying it.
One of the big problems that jealousy can cause us is that it hinders the ability to enjoy what we have. It can capture our attention to such an extent that it makes us lose sight of the forest and that it manages to make it so that we change it for a reduced and impoverished vision of a single tree.
In addition, jealousy becomes a burden in our life when the feeling of dissatisfaction deepens, which, to a greater or lesser extent, we all know. The fact of not stopping, of persevering, this need to keep moving forward, often motivated by jealousy.
Jealousy is a feeling, like many others, that gives us energy and information that can allow us to regulate it. Thus, jealousy becomes bad when it comes to dominate us and disturb our attention, thus preventing us from enjoying all the good things that we rely on.
