Consistency With Oneself Is The Best Signature Of Honesty

You’ve probably heard of consistency and what it means to be someone consistent. Or perhaps you have heard the following comment: “He is inconsistent! He says something and contradicts himself. Nobody understands it! ”.

Well … it seems that being coherent is linked to a certain transparency, both inside (of a person with himself) and outside (what a person reflects is really what he IS. ). Someone who shows nothing but the truth, without cover-up or mask.

Conversely, people who act inconsistently are those who generate puzzles, both for themselves and for others. They move away from who they ARE, behave in a different way from what they feel or think.

Coherence is the correspondence between what we feel and what we express

Thus, we can define coherence as this balance that exists between the most visceral state of someone (what he feels in his guts) and the exteriorization of what he does in his behavior, both verbal than non-verbal. That is to say that when we are coherent, there is no gap between what we feel and what we show.

For example, if I feel betrayed by a friend, I won’t hide it and I won’t pretend nothing has happened. I will show how I feel, because my pain is great and I would like them to understand how I feel. I will be consistent with my pain and with my feelings.

Coherent people generate trust in others

Consistent people tend to generate confidence in others because they do not show a different face than the one they feel, and do not force themselves to feign or cover up their inner state. They know how to listen to what they feel from within and are able to accept it, without betraying themselves or others.

They show themselves as they are, without giving different nuances to what they feel. They are courageous people, because we live in a society where we have not been taught to ride what we feel. Often, we have been encouraged to hide our true emotions, to mask them or even to cover them up with others better tolerated in society.

Sometimes we cover the sadness with inordinate joy… or we use the sadness to get something that we want and that is not given to us. Surely you know someone who has been very happy soon after a loss (eg, in love). She does not allow herself to suffer this loss because “she has to be strong” and because “no man / woman deserves her tears”.

And when she needs to cry, she laughs. Each time, she will accumulate more weight in her true emotion. Covering her until only shreds remain. This is how you become an expert in sham.

Coherence speaks of the correspondence between thoughts and actions

We also speak of coherence when we refer to this harmony which exists between our actions, our behaviors and our way of thinking. Often, probably, we have found ourselves acting in a way that contradicts our thoughts and values. And it produces in us a mixture of strangeness and shame.

If I say that I am tolerant and patient towards others and that at the first change, I am unable to accept points of view other than my own. If I get angry and tense up during these times, I should probably question this idea I have of myself. Because believing that one is in a certain way while acting contrary to what one believes produces an unpleasant sensation.

This is why taking the path of coherence is not a “stupidity”: it implies a very important pact of honesty with oneself.

The problem of consistency lies above all in the mistrust that we end up generating in other people. It’s hard to trust someone who acts differently than they think, and it’s very hard to trust someone who shows the opposite of how they feel.

Intuition shows us who is consistent with us and who is not

There are people who have intuition and who are able to perceive these lags and when a person is consistent with himself. And this is something worth highlighting because it is easier and less reckless to be yourself in the company of people who are themselves – without a mask – than to be in the company of no one. which give the sensation of dancing the mask dance permanently.

“Each of us is on Earth to find our own path and we will never be happy if we follow another’s.”

-James Van Praagh-

This is why it is very important to continue to know yourself, without fear or scruples in observing what is inside of you. If we accept what we are, we will have no need to hide or deny it. Realize that living with a mask on your face all the time is exhausting.

Seeking the balance between what we feel, what we think and what we do is a healthy goal that will make our relationships more real and authentic, starting with the relationship we have with ourselves because we are our only life companions from birth until death, whether we like it or not.

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