Chronic Dissatisfaction Is Not Good For Morale

Have you ever felt like whatever you do is never enough? Do you think you could have done better? Do you demand a lot from yourself? Are you constantly comparing yourself? Chronic dissatisfaction is toxic and leads us to perfectionism and exigency.  Knowing how to turn it into a positive feeling will help you balance your life more easily.

Sociologist Zygmunt Bauman claims that  we live in a liquid and consumer society, which seeks to meet material needs immediately. This assumes that the products we consume have a short shelf life, and therefore our needs are never met and we want to consume more, to feel complete.

Therefore, part of the responsibility for the great general dissatisfaction that we feel is present at the social level.  We spend our day longing for new things and as soon as we have them we want something else. As a consumer society, almost every novelty arouses a desire.

How do you know if you are dissatisfied?

Chronic dissatisfaction is not only a social phenomenon, but also a personal and individual problem. You may feel like nothing is overwhelming, you are overwhelmed with what is left to do, and once you do, you don’t perceive any kind of reward.  It is characterized by the need for constant approval from others and the feeling that you never arrive on time, that there is always something left to do or that could be done better.

If this happens to you, you probably feel like everything is upsetting you and that you are setting unattainable goals for yourself. Comparison and envy are also two characteristics that are frequently associated with dissatisfaction. The more you compare yourself, the more dissatisfied you are. The paradox of envy is that it takes you away from your psychological well-being instead of helping you fulfill your desires.

If you feel like nothing is satisfying you, you may have an unresolved self-esteem issue. Lack of self-confidence is also part of this feeling of chronic dissatisfaction.  By doubting, you can feel a great fear of failure and, as a result, it will hold you back from making decisions and moving forward against your goals.

What good is dissatisfaction to you?

The good news is that dissatisfaction has two faces. One, as we have just described, can upset you and the other can, on the contrary, help you progress. Occasional dissatisfaction can be positive, it allows you to improve and surpass yourself on a daily basis. In small doses, it gives you energy and motivation not to let obstacles bring you down.  It also prompts you not to be content with what you have and to look for a solution to your problems.

The sour face of dissatisfaction appears when you allow it to settle into your routine and you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by demand, comparison, thirst for perfectionism and ambition. To avoid dissatisfaction being only occasional, you should not fall into the trap of comparison. You are unique and inimitable, and you have as much right as others to have your own tastes, thoughts and emotions. 

Why does dissatisfaction that lasts end up being toxic?

Dissatisfaction can tell you that you need to change something in yourself or those around you, and it can end up being positive if you know how to spot it. It becomes harmful when you make the complaint and the discontent last, because you tint your life with ambition and you focus on the past or the future instead of on the present moment. The desire to be in control prevents you from being able to relax and you forget what is really important: enjoying the little things. 

If you are one of those people who tend to want everything to be perfect, it is likely that your dissatisfaction will become harmful to you. You can plan whatever you want, but life has its own plans for you and no one can control what happens or how people will act about it.

How do you free yourself from toxic dissatisfaction?

Here are some ideas to help you detach yourself from this toxic dissatisfaction:

• Don’t compare yourself because you are a singular and unique person:  the comparison simply leads you to idealize others instead of staying in touch with the real part of yourself. Accept yourself as you are and be grateful for all you have. This way you can feel like you have more strength to forge your own path.

• Accept that your needs are real and not imposed:  ask yourself if you want something because you need it, because you want it, or maybe because it is what you should be doing.
• Don’t try to prove something to others:  you are the only person to whom you have to demonstrate something. Prove to yourself that you value and love yourself for who you are.
• Make mistakes:  you are not perfect, just like the rest of humanity, so use your mistakes to learn and learn from them.
• Let yourself be guided by your emotions:  seek a balance between emotion and reflection, without obscuring your emotions. It is only by leaving space for all of your emotions that you will be able to better manage your dissatisfaction or discontent.

• Take advantage of the present moment: your life is in the present, in the immediate moment, so live it in all awareness and in all fullness.

Confidence in yourself and in what is to come nourishes your soul and your body. If you bring flexibility to your life, you will be able to more easily manage and let go of control and the need for perfection that leads to chronic dissatisfaction. This is how you will learn to love your flaws and your qualities so that you can let go of your exigency and be happier with yourself and with others.