At All Times And In All Circumstances, You Should Never Lack Self-esteem
Wherever you go and whatever circumstances you find yourself in, don’t lack self-esteem. Fill your pockets with that positive emotional charge made with your self-concept and self-esteem and don’t leave it at home. Even less, don’t put it in the hands of others. It is yours exclusively, as is the responsibility to take care of and strengthen it on a daily basis.
The philosopher Michel de Montaigne said that “the best thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself” . It is one of those proofs that we are not taught in school. Cultivating self-esteem should be an essential subject of life, which would be integrated into any school curriculum. Because if there is something we all know, it is that sometimes we neglect this psychological area.
To love yourself, to value yourself, to feel valid and to deserve what you want is to be healthy. What is not so much anymore is to feed an excess of ego and an excessive admiration to underestimate the rest and even to see oneself entitled to do harm.
Without this exceptional tool of our psychological architecture, the personality crumbles. As humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers has pointed out, we as people need to take care of this sense of worth, of self-worth, and of the ability to build meaningful lives.
No matter where you are, don’t miss out on self-esteem
There is something surprising. Many people go through life unaware that the relationship and feelings they have with others are determined by self-love. If I don’t love myself the way I deserve, I will wait for others to give me what I lack. Something that never happens and therefore creates eternal suffering, drifting into codependent relationships.
In the end, we limit ourselves to accepting the love that we believe we deserve and the friendship that does not enrich, but that we assume because we think that we can not aspire to anything better. . The same is true at work and in all facets of life. If this dimension fails, everything is distorted and we limit ourselves to existing below minimums, barely surviving in any existential sphere, but without knowing what satisfaction or happiness is.
There are people who insist on the “We must love each other more! If you loved each other, these things wouldn’t happen to you! ” . We nod but… how do you do that? By what magic formula can it be achieved? Maybe it’s enough to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that we are worth it, that whatever is reflected is perfect in itself? The answer is no. It’s not just about accepting and appreciating our physical appearance.
Self-love goes beyond feeling good about who we are, how we are or what we have. It is a state of constant appreciation for everything we do, for everything that ends up reversing our growth as a people. It is a dynamic process that nourishes and gives radiance to work on what we deserve and thus be able to boost our psychological strength.
Don’t miss out on self-esteem, don’t forget to take care of these dimensions
No matter the circumstances or the time. Wherever you go, don’t lack in self-esteem because otherwise you will turn out to be someone you don’t like. A duplicate of yourself who tolerates what hurts you, whom you don’t dare beat for what you want, and you accept by your side people you don’t deserve.
It is therefore important to remember which are the pillars that build self-love:
- Self-knowledge: this dimension involves realizing what we think, what we feel, what we need every second. Contact with our inner being allows us to align needs with actions and commitments
- Self-esteem: this psychological tendon is the key and the heart of self-love. It is the appreciation of ourselves and, in turn, how we think others see us. This perceptual assessment of oneself is something we need to take care of every day.
- Self-care: this category goes beyond good nutrition, hygiene or taking charge of our health. It is taking care of our emotions, it is taking care of our thoughts … The art of good care must frequent at all times the sphere of the mental, the emotional, so that you do not miss any moment of self love
Happiness is a balance: neither too much nor too little
Remember that you never lack self-esteem, for with lack comes suffering. Likewise, also remember never to accumulate too much self-love, for the suffering is projected onto others. An example, in a study conducted at the University of Texas by Dr. William Campbell, made this point.
In addition, they proposed a distinction. Anyone who tends to build up their self-esteem too much is not a narcissist. Narcissists tend to use others to reinforce their deficiencies by draining the energies of those close to them. However, a person with excess self-esteem perceives themselves to be better than others, both intellectually and morally.
These people don’t need or want to control anyone, but they create very resilient environments in which they leave evidence of their great arrogance. It is not appropriate, it is not recommended.
The key is in balance, happiness is found in loving and respecting others. By positioning yourself in the world to achieve what you want but knowing how to live in harmony, without too much self-esteem.
Let’s keep this in mind regarding the need for self-esteem.