5 Thieves Of Happiness

Each in our own way, we try to find happiness. However, during this research, we often deviate and forget what really makes us feel good.

Thus, we do things that we believe we should do, but which deliberately deprive us of this happiness, even if we are not always aware of it.

Most of the things we do thinking are what we need to do to be happy are nothing more than thieves of happiness who are opened the door and given the right to devour us. inside.

These thieves come in the form of social conventionalism to which we submit, in a display of freedom to achieve a happiness that, in reality, is found elsewhere.

“Happiness is not something made up; it comes from your own actions. ”

-Dalai Lama- 

Follow the herd

As social beings, we human beings want to feel connected to and please others in order to have the impression and the feeling of indeed belonging to the group, and to have our place in it.

But well beyond the need to be part of a community, people often choose to do what is necessary to adapt without giving their opinion or resisting.

Many people believe that they must submit because otherwise they would not be accepted.

This insecurity leads them to give up their own desires and other ideas to do what the group asks.

They believe that happiness lies in integration, and that the group seeks the happiness of all. Thus, by submitting his values ​​and thoughts, the person suppresses himself in order to match the expectations of the group.

“The free choice of masters does not do away with masters or slaves. To choose freely from a wide variety of goods and services does not rhyme with being free if those goods and services maintain social controls over a lifetime of effort and fear, or in other words, if they maintain alienation. “

-Herbert Marcuse-

Submit to authority and obey the orders of others

Listening to the advice of others is one thing, but it is quite another to blindly believe everything that we can be told and follow absolutely all the advice we are given without ever questioning nothing and never paying any attention or importance to our own values.

If from an early age, our authority figures taught us to blindly believe everything they told us, over time, we become obedient and submissive adults who, faced with the fear of making decisions, prefer that others think for us and take our own responsibilities for us.

So, instead of listening to their hearts and creating a path of their own, many people prefer to obey orders and follow a path designed for others at the outset ; a path which, supposedly, seeks the common good and the best for the majority.

But on this path there is no room for the development of critical thinking nor for determining all of those things that really define us as an individual as a person.

“Nothing transcends authority as much as silence.”

-Augusto Roa Bastos-

Trying to meet the expectations of others

If you do the things that others want you to do and live simply with the aim of always meeting their expectations, then you will be acting for the happiness of others, not for your own happiness. And on this point, there is no point in saying “but I cannot choose”.

You are a free being, and therefore always have a choice. Another very different thing is choosing the easiest or the least painful option, at least in the short term.

Even though others cover themselves by saying that they only want the best for you, deep down they put their own personal needs first, and only think about their own satisfaction.

When because of their expectations, others do not give you the freedom to choose or try to manipulate your decisions in a certain way, they put up resistance on you so that you cannot deviate from what they expect of you.

Distractions that entertain us

We were educated in a culture of distraction. We are continually busy doing things that do not contribute to our well-being and that constantly demand our attention.

As a result of this constant distraction, confusion and mental turmoil come over us.

In these conditions, it is very difficult to find a real goal and, what is much worse, to be aware of what we really have to do to reach it. These distractions take us away from the peace and quiet we need.

It is necessary to put aside these unnecessary distractions and focus our attention on what really matters, which is all those things that fill our hearts with joy and help us to give the best of ourselves.

Try to be perfect

Another way to act that robs us of our happiness is to strive for and lead a perfect life.

However, perfection does not exist. Life is a continuous path of development and improvement.

Trying to make everything perfect prevents us from consciously enjoying who we are and what we have, since our approach is limited to seeing only the flaws.

The constant pursuit of perfection inevitably generates stress, and pushes us to try to control others, as well as our feelings of disappointment, shame, and even hatred towards ourselves.

“Anxiety arises when people demand perfection and feel that they don’t have enough value as human beings if they don’t achieve it. We should let go of the ambition to live a perfect life and realize that usually we always act imperfectly, because we are fallible as human beings and we can accept ourselves with these imperfections. ”

-Albert Ellis-