3 Things I Learned From Living Alongside My Dark Guardian, Depression

The depression crushed me to the point of sinking into the dark nooks and crannies of my own shell. From there, in the depths of my solitude, I listened to the rumor of the world. I was even able to hear the murmur of those who judged me for my fragility, or of those who told me to “cheer me up because life only lasts 2 days”. However, my depression lasted 5 years, which was enough to learn everything about it.

Often times, people who overcome a mental illness or illness of some seriousness are referred to as “heroes”. We also regularly stress the important dimension of courage in facing these difficult times. On the other hand, those who have been there know that these are essential vital moments; that there is no other option but to be strong and fight against the emergence of our worst enemy: surrender.

On the other hand, WHO studies and reports remind us that the rate of depressive disorders continues to increase year after year. Among these data, oddly enough, it is not usual to find information about the people who come out of this black hole in which the law reigns imposing sadness.

The main reason for this finding is a fact that was brought to the fore at this year’s WHO Congress. 7 out of 10 people do not receive the most suitable treatment, which is why the shadow of depression can come and go. Thus, when it appears, which is the most common, the treatment chosen is the simplest: drugs. However, a more holistic approach would be necessary, a multifactorial approach.

Thus, the depression that is not properly treated is converted little by little into a suffocating tenant who disorganizes our thoughts, which closes the windows and the curtains of our hope to achieve what pleases it so much: to make us prisoner of our own. foyer. It is not easy to bring order to such chaos. It is not easy either to take it out, disinfect it and reduce it …

However, even the most severe depression can be overcome with the right treatment. When this is done, we were able to learn valuable lessons that are worth living.

1) disinfect the shame of depression

Depression is still associated with a feeling of shame today. It doesn’t matter that we are in the information age and have access to countless data… None of these aspects matter because we don’t talk about depression, it’s not a conversation nor comfortable , nor easy; and in many situations it can even be a real taboo. For example, this is often the case when a mother who has just given birth no longer believes in her life and feels totally unable to cope with her newborn baby.

How will those around her be able to understand that she is suffering from postpartum depression when in theory she should feel happier than ever? If we were to do a sample survey of the ideas people in general have about depression, they are more likely to use terms like “frailty”, “woman”, “surrender”.

These completely biased ideas often even lead to people locking themselves in the prison of silence, fearing the judgment of others and the gaze of one who observes without understanding. Isolation arises from the incomprehension that sick people feel outside the bubble they have created to protect themselves,

2) Depression never comes alone

Depression tends to come accompanied by unpleasant and devoted allies, as is the case with anxiety or panic disorders or even stress … Many people define this situation as being at home. inside a plane about to crash.

The heart quickens, constant fear turns us into a person unable to keep control of their own life, a person who barely sleeps or who sleeps a lot, someone who eats very little or just the opposite experiences a hedonic hunger.

Each person will experience a concrete symptomatology which will gradually give shape to a dark kaleidoscope of infinite bitter suffering. Thus, and almost overnight, the person will be taking antidepressants to treat anxiety, beta blockers to slow the speeding up of the heart, drugs to reduce nausea, and lozenges to sleep at night.

3) Now I’m a much more self-compassionate person

Depression cannot be cured in a month, nor in two months. Sometimes it takes years. Everyone lives their process in their own way, everyone emerges from the lonely recesses of their shell at their own pace and with their own music. It’s like finding the way back home after being lost in a desert, having groped, without a path, without a compass, without strength… and without the hope of ever getting out of this place.

• From depression, we learn and we also unlearn. Because sometimes, it is necessary to leave behind many things, to change its habits, to reassess some of its vital objectives, and especially to get rid of the classic idea “one can in spite of everything”.
• Overcoming this illness helps us develop a much more compassionate internal voice. The one who taught us to say to ourselves “Stop, take time for yourself”, “Let go of these thoughts, there is no reason to be so demanding with yourself” …

At the same time and to finish, this compassion allows us to make a better contact with what is born in our interior to understand our needs, our limits and also, like a no, to always have at hand this toolbox with which keep away this “black dog” that is depression, as Winston Churchill said.

Everyone will keep in this precious box of first aid what will suit them best: writing, sport, steps, reading, a discussion with friends… These are strategies that cultivate daily habits of emotionally positive and healthy lives that keep us on the surface, save us, and bring us closer to the version of ourselves we like the most: people who are starting to smile again.