3 Strategies To Increase Self-esteem
Self-esteem, and more specifically its status and influence, has become a dead end for many people. There are countless books and articles that present it to us as a panacea. If we have it, everything will flow, they say. If we don’t count them, everything will be bad. The problem is, this self-esteem is mostly built in the first few years of life, which is why this opportunity doesn’t come twice. Therefore, many people wonder: is there a way to increase self-esteem when it is not well established?
The answer to this question is obviously yes. When someone has very favorable conditions, it is easy for their self-esteem to take hold in the first years of life. This will give him special strength and more possibilities to achieve well-being and happiness. Otherwise, it is also possible to repair some roots that are not so strong.
Moreover, another question looms on the horizon: why increase self-esteem? Although it seems obvious, it is not always. Lack of self-esteem is the seed for many troublesome conditions, the factor that increases their risk. This usually results in constant disagreement which cannot be relieved. This makes it difficult to set realistic goals and achieve them. Ultimately, it can make life a lot more complicated. To avoid this, we will present three effective strategies here.
1. Develop a reminder, a technique to increase self-esteem
We are not aware, or at least not always aware, of much of our behavior. Most of the time, we cannot say precisely why we think the way we think or feel what we feel. We just experience it that way and not otherwise, but we don’t know why. All of this information is in the subconscious, or at least an important part of it.
In reality, when we do not have self-esteem, the mind operates in such a way that it overlooks many positive aspects of who we are. This is when a reminder becomes a valuable tool to increase self-esteem.
It’s just a matter of taking a written inventory of the best of ourselves. What we love about us, what we’ve accomplished today, the obstacles we’ve overcome. Let us specify what are our virtues, capacities and skills. Let’s write down what we have done right. And most importantly, let’s check this list frequently. This will help our mind to function as an ally and not as an enemy.
2. Identify destructive approaches
When self-esteem is damaged, we tend to see the world from a very dark perspective. One way or another, we project our discomfort onto what surrounds us. So we end up focusing more on the negative than the positive of reality.
There are also unconstructive habits such as comparing ourselves to others, getting scared when we are about to achieve an important goal, or letting ourselves be carried away by inertia because it is difficult for us to believe in our own dreams.
It is worth keeping an attitude of observation towards ourselves. The goal is to detect all those lines of thought that make us feel bad. We will most likely see things in black, not because they are, but because we have become accustomed to interpreting them that way. By observing and identifying this, we gradually free ourselves from these destructive customs.
3. The five fingers exercise
This is an exercise proposed by psychologist José Ignacio Fernández. It can be very effective in increasing self esteem. It includes a series of very simple actions to improve our mood when it is at its lowest.
The actions to be carried out are as follows:
- Relaxation. The first thing is to inhale and exhale deeply to achieve a state of greater relaxation.
- First mental image. It is advisable to first extend the hands and then join the index finger with the thumb. In this position, remember a time in life when we felt loved or protected. For example, a moment of helplessness when another person took care of us.
- Second mental image. We must now put our thumbs with our middle finger. Then bring up a situation in which we have had success or obtained a positive result.
- Third mental image. Join the thumb with the ring finger. Then, remember a noble deed we did.
- Fourth and last mental image. Finally, the thumb and little finger meet. Here we have to remember someone whom we love or have really loved.
This exercise is useful in times when we blame ourselves a lot or when we lack self-confidence. It is very effective both in finding balance in the moment and in increasing self-esteem in the long run. Let us remember that no matter what the circumstances, we can always change and learn to be happier.
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